Replaying Emerald.

[Southern Gothic]

Day 1

A Truck arrives in town, and through the power of Game Boy, I am transformed from a normal sized teenage boy into a raisin wearing a baseball cap.

I meet Prof Oak...I mean Birch. He asks me my name and I answer ROCKET. It's the name I always use from the days of old. I loved Team Rocket, and would play as if I were a rogue member. Even going so far as to use all the same pokemon, more or less. As Jesse and James. This often proved problematic, as my emotions often hid the fact that their pokemon generally suck. Moving on...

As I explore town, I again run into Birch, who is being attacked by a wild pokemon. He asks for help, and in his pack are three pokemon of conveniently conflicting types. Do you always walk around with these, Birch? Lotta good it did you.

I choose Treecko, also known as the Geiko Gecko. Most of the time I go with grass types, as I find them to be the most neutral. I may be confusing neutral with "the one nobody wants". Regardless, I make a quick decision and get on with my life.

Of course I come out Victorious but have to listen to my new rival, May, run her smart mouth anyway. I have come to the conclusion that MAY is the most passive aggressive character in Pokemon history. At least Gary was strait up about being a dick. This chick slides her hatred of me through soft compliments.

After recieving the pokedex, I get on my journey. Does anyone else think that if dog fighting used a pokedex, it wouldn't be as frowned upon?

It only takes a small bit of hiking to again run into May. This bitch was waiting for me in the trees like Jason Voorhees. If things were reversed, and I were stalking her, I am pretty sure I'd be seeing Officer Jenny in no time.

Sadly for May, I am too smart. I've done this before. She thinks that by picking Chikorita, the fire type to my grass type, she has the advantage. Totally saw that coming. Thats why I trained Treecko to lvl 10, while your stupid bird is still chilling all the way down at 5.

STOMP ensues. Begone you foul bitch.

Lastly, I searched the nearby grass until a Raltz appears. A bit like Abra, Raltz isn't much now, but should soon become the one of the most useful pokemon to get this early in the game. And, I love my psychic types. She should make a great backup for Treecko.

Game saved. More to come.

 

[Southern Gothic]

Day 2

I make my way to Petelberg. It's called a town, depite having only two housed and a gym. Not much overall. I am so much better than this place.

Inside the gym, I find my father, who in no way will be waiting for a dramatic showdown towards the end of the game. Immediately, several facts present themselves to suggest this man is an absentee parent. First, all I get is a "Hey", followed by a statement of surprise at my newly aquired Treecko. Geez, dad, all you had to do was call to find that out.

Another sign of neglect comes to my attention as a second trainer enters the gym. His name is Wally, and he is immediately the center of attention. Instead of some quality time, I am sent out to show Wally how to catch a pokemon. Two purposes are served here: Wally is established as a minor rival and I learn the in and outs of catching a Pokemon.

If dad had taken two seconds to look, he would have seen a second pokeball on my belt and knew I got this shit down already. To make matters worse, Waly catches a Raltz that is identical to my own. So much for feeling special. I am then sent to the town of Roxboro and Wally goes about his way. I hope you drown, Wally.

On the way, I encounter several trainers, all of whome suck balls to a maximum degree. Fisherman Miles is up first. He claims to be a sea expert and master fisherman. He folows up this boast by sending out not one, not two, but three Magikarp in a row. Do I even need to explain this? Splash. Splash. Splash.

Next is Bugcatcher Mike. He employs a similar strategy and uses four Wurmple in his arselan, and after ten minutes of non stop stringshot, I emerge victorious.

Finally I make it to Roxboro, and prepare to go after my first badge. Roxanne is the gym leader here, and as here weirdly appropriate name implies, she loves rock types. Since I am currenly sporting a grass and psychic type, I feel pretty good going in. After dispatching some of her minions, I find Discount Brock and do battle. She uses two Geodudes and a Nosepass, all of whom drop from the power of Confusion and Absorb.

ROCKET wins. Flawless victory. I earn the Stone Badge and feel it is well deserved.

As I step outside to bask in my glory, May leaps from behind a building and ambushes me will all the tact of a drunken mugger. Talk about striking when the iron is hot. But all is well, as she has nothing more than a Lotad and Torchic. My guys are better, and May starts down the path of dooming her soul to my eternal whim. Suck it.

In what amounts to a beautifully metaphoric icing on the cake, Treecko evolves following the battle. Welcome Grovyle, you fucked up looking Raptor.

I finish up the session by participating in a few shenanigans with the local Devon Corp, and take down a Team Aqua thug. A bit of level grinding. Taillow joins the team, not as a fighter, but as a placeholder for Cut and Fly. I hate putting those on my main team.

Current roster.

Grovyle: lvl 18

Raltz: lvl 14.

More to come.